Bibliography:
1.
Butler, Octavia E. Dawn. New York: Integrated
Media, n.d. Web
I use multiple quotations and will get additional
information once I read the last two books to support my argument. By using the
text to show the Oankali’s incompleteness in knowledge further supports the argument
that genetic determinism is incomplete.
2.
Freeman, Scott, et al. "Gene Structure and
Expression." Biological Science. 5th
ed. New Jersey:
Parson Education Company, 2014. 237-304. Print.
I use my biology textbook for information on certain genetically
inherited traits and how environmental factors are equally involved. The
textbook provides factual scientific information to keep my argument
scientifically correct.
3.
Lewontin, R.C. Biology as Ideology. New York:
HarperCollins Publishers; 1991. Print.
Biology as an Ideology not only provides the basis of my argument
off of Lewontin’s own ideas but I can also go more in depth into Lewontin’s
background information to further support my argument.
4.
"An Overview of the Human Genome
Project." National Human Genome Research
Institute. N.p.,
n.d. Web. 14 Nov. 2014. <http://genome.gov>.
This is a scientific website providing accurate information
on the human genome project which is a strong example I use. The website gives
an overall description on what research comes into play and the goals of the
human genome project which I use against them to show the inaccuracies of the
project.
I really am obsessed with this essay’s topic. I want to
expand off my last essay and just further detail my main points. I think I have
solid, valid supporting examples and want to hopefully keep all of them and
just separate each one supporting argument out and again add more detail. My
overall goal is to scientifically and accurately prove that genetic determinism
is incomplete with the support of Butler’s symbolism and imagery as well as
Lewontin’s theories and factual genetic examples from my biology textbook.
My argument is that Butler uses the Oankali to illustrate
the errors/limitations in modern science that is supported by scientist like Lewontin
and modern research to show there is a more scientifically correct way.
Why it’s important: Many modern scientist support genetic
determinism like those creating the human genome project however there are many
inaccuracies with this theory and it’s important to understand what they are. I
will prove that genetic determinism is incomplete and use strong, scientifically
accurate and relevant information to show that there is hope in modern science for
better methods and thus better scientific institutions (which in itself is
important).
I can fine tune this thesis further but my biggest struggle
is how to end it with a clear statement. I want to say that Lewontin’s ideas
and modern research of PKU and BRCA1 show that there are better methods and better
science in modern science. However, even that doesn’t sound to pretty so one of
my edits will be having a concise thesis.
Cutting and Keeping:
I plan on adding information from the last two books in
Butler’s Lilith’s Brood, however I need to read them first and plan out what parts
are useful so that will be determined later. I also want to add background
information on Lewontin and possibly on Butler as well but I haven’t decided if
that will be necessary. I will cut out (hopefully) every single grammatical
error!
Outline:
1.
Introduction to thesis
2.
Defining genetic determinism
3.
Explaining the misconceptions and scientific inaccuracies
of genetic determinism and scientifically proving it’s incompleteness
4.
Background information on Lewontin
5.
Research to support genetic determinism is
incomplete
a.
PKU
b.
BRCA1
6.
The human genome project, explain its scientific
inaccuracies to support the main argument
7.
Oankali’s incomplete knowledge of humans and
thus the symbolic reference to the incompleteness of genetic determinism- use
lots of quotes from Lilith’s Brood
8.
Then delve into the last two books to prove the
Oankali’s errors
9.
Conclusion: Butler uses the Oankali to show the limitations
of genetic determinism and Lilith to show instill hope for better scientific
modern methods
I don't have any complaints here. I think your argument is more clearly straightforward and interesting in its current form than you give it credit for: "My argument is that Butler uses the Oankali to illustrate the errors/limitations in modern science that is supported by scientist like Lewontin and modern research to show there is a more scientifically correct way." That's fine! Now, it leaves important questions unanswered, and if you could explain how we learn not only what we *shouldn't* do but what we *should* do from Butler, that would be great progress! So you'll need to continue to focus on that. I really don't have much more to say - at this point you're basically promise to extend your revision while streamlining it, and while we both know you'll need to adapt as you continue to read Butler, there's really nothing more to say about that at this point.
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